Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Poor Writing Online


1. My first example was in the San Francisco Gate newspaper. The title is "Rent bump forces Lusty Lady to grind to halt". This article is a clear violation of all rules good writers hold dear. The title is cheesy and confusing. My friends laughed and were immediately confused by the title. The writer rarely begins new sentences, and each paragraph is one long sentence separated by multiple commas. The writer described the location multiple times using the words "venerable" and "dingy" . How can a dingy strip club be something sacred? The strippers were described as victims of the porn industry and their rent manager. The word usage was so inappropriate and many words were misused all through out the story.
2. Though I have never personally read the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" (promise!), an anonymous source I know has. I looked up this quote online of the book to illustrate the awful writing of E.L. James: 
"Our fingers brush very briefly, and the current is there again, zapping through me like I've touched an exposed wire. I gasp involuntarily as I feel it, all the way down to somewhere dark and unexplored, deep in my belly. Desperately, I scrabble around for my equilibrium".
I was surprised at the low quality of writing on such a best seller.. And scrabble means to struggle to scrape, so why would she be trying to scrape her equilibrium? Is that a metaphor? The book is full of cliche's and unnecessary, childish words like "O my!" and "zaps". 
The final example comes form the Gwinnett Daily Post. The title is "Program gives patients a hand dealing with cancer". If they could have stated that sentence clearer, like program gives patients dealing with cancer a hand. I was wondering if the writer was talking about cards for a moment. Also, the article attempts to be sympathetic by over describing the hard plight of cancer patients and gives little information about the actual program that the article is supposed to be about. Sentences are disconnected and broken, yet forced to fit with multiple commas. Also, quotes used are sometimes repetitive. If you are going to say a fact with a quote you do not need to write the fact again before or after.